Frequently asked questions

What is the Code of Conduct?

1. Client and Practitioner both verify that they are 18 or older and are mentally/emotionally able to give consent.

2. Client and Practitioner both agree to be free from any mind-altering substances during the sessions and are thereby fully able to give consent.

3. Client agrees to fully disclose any diagnoses, conditions or sensitivities that may affect their cuddling session to the Practitioner. (ie. Epilepsy, Diabetes, Sensitive to strong smells etc.)

4. Client and Practitioner both agree to practice consent and attention to personal boundaries at all times. No is a full sentence, and will be respected at all times before, during and after a session.

5. Client and Practitioner will communicate to find what is mutually comfortable throughout each cuddling session. This applies to all communication prior to and after sessions as well.

6. This is a strictly platonic service. Client and Practitioner both agree to not pursue or encourage sexual arousal. Also:

  • Minimum clothing of tank top and shorts that cover the top half of the thigh and are suitable to be worn in public for both Client and Practitioner at all times.

  • No hand to genital or breast contact. No intentional genital stimulation of any kind.

  • No exchanging of saliva, or any other bodily fluid, in any way.

7. Client and Practitioner both agree to respectful personal hygiene. 

8. Client confidentiality is to be respected at all times.

9. Either Client or Practitioner may end the session at any time. 

10. All feedback is valued and confidential. Please feel free to share any changes you would like to see made in the space or in my techniques to assist in your comfort during your session.

ARE YOU SECRETLY A SEX WORKER?

No, silly! All services I offer are platonic. See Code of Conduct, I hafta follow those rules as much as you do!

Can’t I just get cuddles from my partner for free?

Absolutely! If you are already getting your needs met, that’s amazing! And kinda rare. Sadly daily touch is not something all people have access too which is where I come in. But this could be true of anyone, including those with partners and touch-friendly friends! Ask yourself: “Am I finding the time daily to schedule contact with someone?” Is it a space that can remain open and non-judgmental?  You might find that you have trouble making time in 2 different busy schedules to give and receive close contact that is truly stressbusting for both of you. The hope is that you can and do make the time! It is said “You need 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day to GROW!” - Virginia Satir (World renowned Family Therapist). We experienced what touch starvation can really do to our bodies and minds during the Pandemic didn’t we? Many are still struggling to get back to their “new normal.” I offer this service as a supplement to what touch you may already be getting in your life. This is not a shameful thing, it’s an acceptable way to fulfill your human needs without guilt.


What are the benefits of booking a cuddle session with you?

Its a space of non-judgment for you to get your needs met by someone enthusiastic and practiced at human contact. Being touch-starved is SUCH a common ailment in our Hustle Culture. The oxytocin you get from connecting with another human being alone is a reason to book. I call that the best kind of self-care! But if you need even more reasons I am not the only one saying this!

WebMD

Lynne Cohen Foundation

National Library of Medicine

Science Direct

Saatva Blog

Tange Wellness

Oxytocin – A Multifunctional Analgesic for Chronic Deep Tissue Pain

Relations between plasma oxytocin and cortisol: The stress buffering role of social support

Warm Partner Contact Is Related to Lower Cardiovascular Reactivity

*Please visit my pages on FB and IG for Science Saturdays as I scour the internet for articles that support hugs, cuddles and touch as an act of health-care AND self-care.

What Should I wear?

For Cuddle sessions I ask that you show up in your comfy gear! Remove belts, pockets empty, a minimum of shorts that cover your thighs, and a tank top that covers your torso. Think yoga-type casual wear. Please wear underwear. Please DO NOT wear strong smelling perfumes or colognes.

For non-touch sessions wear what makes YOU comfortable.

Can I change when I get there?

Please arrive already wearing your comfortable clothes so that your scheduled time is not wasted! I will provide a space for you to store your personal items during your session.

What personal items can I bring to a Cuddle Session?

You can bring any item that will fit the purview of the session. Preferably, that would include something that specifically supports your comfort/safety. Things like a favorite pillow, a stuffed animal, or a plush item are welcome. Some clients have requested their hair to be brushed, which I will only do if you provide your own brush, so bring it if you’d like this service!

***DO NOT BRING: guns, weapons, and items that could potentially cause harm. When in doubt, ask first!***

Do you offer skin to skin contact?

I do, but with a caveat. As mentioned in the Code of Conduct above, you must arrive dressed appropriately. Skin that is under your clothing is off-limits. Reaching under clothing to touch skin is not welcome or performed at any time during a session. This also applies to any clothing you might arrive dressed in. For example, the minimum is shorts that cover the thighs, BUT if you arrive wearing pants, then the skin covered by those pants is off limits as well. 

PLEASE DO NOT WEAR STRONG SCENTS OR ARRIVE WITH STRONG BODY ODOR.

This is VERY important as strong scents can trigger a migraine for me. This includes but is not limited to: Perfume, Cologne, Deodorants that have a strong smell (please DO wear a deodorant though!), Essential Oils, Smoke (from Cigarettes, E-cigs, Pot or Incense), and Strong body odor. You WILL be asked to leave immediately and reschedule if you come smelling too strong. You may wonder if washing it off and coming back would help, but that is not a risk I am willing to take. It would be better to reschedule and have the full session time wouldn’t?

What if I get aroused during the session?

Bodies are funny like that. Arousal, both physiological and psychological, is a natural reaction mediated by the autonomic nervous system, which regulates involuntary bodily functions like heart rate, blood pressure, and sexual arousal. No need to be embarrassed or worried as this is not a problem if we don’t bring much attention to it. Arousal is not to be pursued or encouraged during our session. If needed, we can take a break and drink some water. Alternatively, I may ask that we change positions or that a pillow be placed strategically for comfort’s sake.

Can I really request ANY kind of cuddle position?

You can! As long as it holds to the Code of Conduct. However, and this is important for your comfort as much as mine, you have boundaries that need to be respected and so do I! But don’t worry, I will never do anything I don’t feel comfortable doing and I expect no less from you.

What if all I want TO DO is talk?

I am SO here for it AND you have some options! You can book a different session type (“I need a Comfort Call”). Or, in the event you feel like you might change your mind, you can book a Cuddle Session and work up to a simple hug or cuddle. This is especially helpful for those who have trauma surrounding touch but want to work on it slowly. You will, however, need to choose and pay for one type of session before your session begins. I like to be prepared for the type of session I am going into, so advanced notice is imperative. Also, I take payment at the beginning of the session, and I do not issue refunds, so no mid-session switches. Besides, It’s always better to stick to our requests and avoid irresolution, isn’t it? We can always book again!

PLEASE NOTE: I know that not everyone is immediately comfortable with touching and being touched by a stranger. This is neither disappointing to me nor is it rare if I am completely honest with you. This is for YOU, and I am happy to hold space however you need it!

How clean is your Cuddle Space, really?

My space is vacuumed between sessions, both the floor and the cuddle couch. I wipe hard surfaces as needed with an antibacterial solution. Unfortunately, there is no way to sanitize the space fully and lend to the comfort of plush surfaces. I do change linens between clients, but not all surfaces can be fully covered on my cuddle couch. If you have specific needs regarding this, please reach out to me and I will do my best to accommodate. If you would like to bring a blanket for us to lay on, you are welcome to do so. Please note, however, that I have cats in my space.

What if I have a cat allergy?

Depending on the level of allergy, there are a few options. I can vacuum the space thoroughly, put clean linens on the couch and put the cats away for the duration of our session. If you prefer, you can bring linens, flat sheets are best. In the event your allergies are more severe, we can look into making arrangements at a different location. Please note that arranging an alternate space may incur an additional charge.

What if I am late??

If you are 15 minutes late or later your appointment will be cancelled or rescheduled and your deposit cannot be transferred to the next appointment (please see the Cancellation Policy below for more details). If you are less than 15 minutes late you will have a shorter session because appointments must ALWAYS end on time so that BOTH of our schedules can remain the same for the rest of the day. No exceptions.

How much is the deposit and how do I pay it?

I require a $30 non-refundable deposit to hold your appointment. Your invoice will be sent through Square to the email I have on file and is due upon receipt. This amount will be applied to your session. If you need to make arrangements to pay your invoice with PayPal or Venmo, please let me know so I can look for the payment and mark your invoice as paid. If your invoice remains unpaid for an unreasonable amount of time your appointment time may be given to someone else.

What is your Cancellation policy?

If you cancel more than 24 hours in advance, you can apply your deposit to your next session. If you cancel less than 24 hours before, you are required to pay a full deposit to hold your next session. If I were to cancel at any time BEFORE your session, for whatever reason, you can use your deposit on your next appointment. I do not cancel on a whim or take cancellations lightly. Our time is precious and so is the emotional labor that goes into preparing for a service like this one, we must respect that.

What is the 3 strikes rule of engagement?

This is in place, sadly, because someone at some point took advantage and disrespected our agreements. You won’t let it get this far, right? Let’s both keep to our promises and lean into respect for each other to avoid this from being a concern. You will note that you are given ample opportunity to make corrections to your own poor choices and remain a welcome client.

The following behavioural choices may result in your session being cancelled or you being removed as a client.

1. Behaviour that does not adhere to the boundaries outlined by the Code of Conduct.

2. Behaviour that does not adhere to any additional boundaries that have been communicated, verbally or in writing, at any time before, during, or after a session.

Here is the strike system (which I rarely have to use but it’s good to have a system)

  1. Strike 1: The practitioner issues one warning that a boundary has been crossed. This includes behaviour before, during or after a session and the warning can be issued at any time before, during, or after a session.

  2. Strike 2: The practitioner will issue one reminder before, during, or after a session. After this reminder, if poor behavioural choices are made, you will be asked to leave (if in session). You MAY be allowed to try again to show that you are willing to honour all agreements in a future session. You are not guaranteed this opportunity, this is at the practitioner’s discretion.

  3. Strike 3: If an additional reminder is required Client will be asked to leave (if in session), take a break from booking, and/or removed as a Client.

Please note that repeated poor behavioural choices may be reported to the team at Cuddlist.com which may limit your ability for future sessions with a different Cuddlists.

It is expected that you will ALWAYS respectfully leave when asked to even if your your schedules session time has not ended. Authorities will be contacted if its clear your behaviour may lead to harm to myself/others, my property, the neighbourhood’s property, or to yourself.

Seriously though… I know you are a wonderful human that knows how to be kind and co-operative I just have this here incase someone has decided to not be cool with the rules.

What forms of payment do you take?

I take Cash, Venmo (@sonderembrace), PayPal (paypal.me/sonderembrace), or Credit Card (Invoice or Swiped through Square)

I DO NOT take Personal Checks, direct HSA or Insurance.